Mom's Dictonary

AMNESIA:
   Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor
   to make love again.

DUMBWAITER:
   One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING:
   The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart
   to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK:
   The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate
   the strained carrots.

FULL NAME:
   What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS:
   The people who think your children are wonderful
   even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY:
   What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be,
   as long as they do everything we say.

OW:
   The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE:
   A small body of water that draws other small bodies
   wearing dry shoes into it.

SHOW OFF:
   A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE:
   What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it
   and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK:
   Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING:
   When the baby's face turns red and she begins to
   make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL:
   Able to whine in words

WHODUNIT:
   None of the kids that live in your house...