Harley Owners Test

1. The primary purpose of HOG is to promote:
   a. Fellowship among Harley-Davidson owners
   b. Chrome-plating
   c. motorcycle gangs
   d. inbreeding

2. You see another HOG member riding the opposite direction
   on the highway you are on.
   You either:
   a. Hold your arm off to the left and gesture with a proud salute
   b. act too cool to notice and keep going
   c. Turn around, chase him down and beat him up for his chrome accessories
   d. Run after him frantically waving for help,
      since you've been stranded on the shoulder for over 5 hours

3. When performing your pre-ride check,
you notice a few drops of engine oil on the floor underneath your motorcycle.
   You should:
   a. Immediately clean it up with a genuine Harley Davidson towel and some oil dry
   b. Breath a sigh of relief that the engine still contains oil
      and optimistically press the starter switch
   c. Dab your fingers on the stain and then on your face,
      achieving that cool "greasy mechanic" look
   d. Pull the Harley forward so the rear tire sits on the oil stain
      and attempt a burnout

4. The most important piece of gear to a Harley rider is:
   a. Half-helmet
   b. goggles
   c. leather chaps
   d. wallet chain

5. You see a row of Harley-Davidsons lined up at a roadside drinking establishment.
   You choose to:
   a. Stop and make some new friends
   b. park for a moment, hammer down some shots of whiskey,
      and avoid a 4th straight DUI
   c. attempt a wheelie
   d. beat the crap out of some sucker
      and get payback for Uncle Dad

6. A valve stem has broken off and effectively seized up the engine.
   After removing the head and thoroughly inspecting the situation,
   you:
   a. head to an authorized H-D dealer
      and order genuine Harley replacement parts
   b. decide to chrome plate the valve stems and springs
   c. conclude that more end play in the cams
      could have prevented this tragedy
   d. try starting the motor so that the neighbors know
      you're wrenching on your bike

7. A Japanese-made cruiser pulls up in the lane \
   next to yours at a stoplight.
   You:
   a. Nod diplomatically at your fellow motorcyclist,
      in spite of his patriotic failure in his duty to buy American.
   b. grab a handful of throttle and race the engine,
      hoping to engage him in an exhaust volume contest
   c. Curse the #&*@-ing rice burner and throw your cigarette at him.
   d. keep pushing when the light changes

8. The guy down the block has a Sportster 1100
   that is faster at the strip than your hopped-up Fat Boy.
   You feel a need to level the playing field
   where the power to weight ratio is concerned.
   You decide to:
   a. install NOS
   b. remove the exhaust pipes and run straight headers,
      since more decibels equals more power
   c. Go on a diet
   d. inform your 270 pound passenger she is no longer allowed to accompany
      you on the bike during runs at the dragstrip

9. Cruising along at full throttle,
   you are casually overtaken
   and passed by a 15-year old on a Zuma II scooter.
   You:
   a. Stop at a payphone and dial 911 to notify the authorities
      of a reckless driver
   b. attempt to pass the scooter back by imitating his hunched over riding style,
      reducing aerodynamic drag and gaining another .5 mph top end speed
   c. Curse the #&*@-ing rice burner and choke on your cigarette in the process
   d. shoot at him

10. The preferred method of cleaning a Harley-Davidson is:
   a. S-100  motorcycle wash or equivalent
   b. Simonize
   c. Gunk engine degreaser
   d. mother nature

***BONUS QUESTION***
11. You need new tires for your Harley.
   You decide to go with:
   a. Dunlop Qualifiers
   b. Mickey Thompson Super Off-Roaders
   c. Cheng Shins
   d. anything chrome-plated