Darwin Awards 2000
The 2000 nominees are:
No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified
man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself
to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole
in his gut.
No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, a
mechanic of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as
he was trying to repair what police describe as a
"farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive
the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath
so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling
noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however,
and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger,
47, accidentally shot himself to death in December
in Newton, N.C. Awakening to the sound of a ringing
telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone
but grabbed instead a Smith and Wesson 38 Special,
which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
No. 4: [UPI,Toronto]: Police said lawyer demonstrating
the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto
skyscraper crashed through a pane with his
shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.
A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell
into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank
Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining
the strength of the building's windows to visiting
law students. Hoy previously has conducted
demonstration of window strength according to
police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner
of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto
Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best
and brightest" members of the 200-man association.
No. 5: [Bloomsburg News Service]: A terrible diet
and room with no ventilation are being blamed for
the death of a man who was killed by his own gas.
There was no mark on his body, but an autopsy
showed large amounts of methane gas in his system.
His diet had consisted primarily of beans and
cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just
the right combination of foods. It appears that the
man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous
cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been
outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't
have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near
airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was
a big man with a huge capacity for creating 'this
deadly gas.' " Three of the rescuers got sick, and
one was hospitalized.
No. 6: [The News of the Weird.]: Michael Anderson
Godwin made news of the Weird posthumously. He
had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's
electric chair on a murder conviction before having
his sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting
on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his
small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
(Maybe there IS justice!)
NO. 7: ["The Indianapolis Star"]: A cigarette lighter
may have triggered fatal explosion in Dunkirk, IN.
A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check
the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday
night when the weapon discharged in his face,
sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19,
died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30
pm. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber
muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He
was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the
gunpowder ignited.
No. 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning
a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium
apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23
stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing
on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said
Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police.
"It appears the chair moved and he went over the
balcony," Honer said.
No.9: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] Two local men
were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left
the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on
State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff
County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident
shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33,
of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock
are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical
Center. The accident occurred as the two men were
returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On
an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck
headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded
that the headlight fuse on the older model truck
had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet
from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next
to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the
bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly,
and the two men proceeded on east-bound toward
the White River bridge. After traveling approximately
20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet
apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole
in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to
the right exiting the pavement and striking a tree.
Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from
the accident, but will require surgery to repair the
other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and
was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't
on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or
we might both be dead" stated Wallis. "I've been a
trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but
this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two
would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did
anyone get them from the truck.
(Lavinia's got her priorities straight!)