Cowboys Guide to Life

1.) Don't squat with your spurs on.
Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

2.) Lettin' the cat out of the bag
is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

3.) If you're riding ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

4.) If you think you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

5.) After eating an entire bull a mountain lion felt so good
he let out a terrific roar.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral of the story is:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut!

6.) Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

7.) There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
      Neither one works.

8.) If you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is to stop diggin'.

9.) Never slap a man who's chew'n tobacca.

10.)It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

11.)Always drink upstream from the herd.

12.)When you give a lesson on meanness to a critter or a person,
don't be surprised if they learned their lesson.

13.)When you're throw'n your weight around,
be ready to have it thrown around by someone else.

14.)The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

15.)Never miss a good chance to shut up.

16.)There are three kinds of men.
The one that learns by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
And the rest of them
who have to pee on an electric fence for themselves.