Why did the chicken, cross the road ?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:  To get to the other side.

PLATO:  For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE:  It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX:  It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY:  Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

RONALD REAGAN:  I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES:  Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:  The road, you see, represents the black man.
   The chicken 'crossed' the black man
   in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:  I envision a world
   where all  chickens will be free to cross roads
   without having their motives called into question.

MOSES:  And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
   "Thou shalt cross the road."
   And the chicken crossed the road,
   and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER:  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
   How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON:  The chicken did not cross the road.
   I repeat,
   the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI:  The point is that the chicken crossed the road.
   Who cares why?
   The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive here was.

SEINFELD:  Why does anyone cross a road?
   I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
   "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

OLIVER STONE:  The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
   Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time,
   whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN:  Chickens, over great periods of time,
   have been naturally selected in such a way
   that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN:  Whether the chicken crossed the road
   or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:  The chicken did not cross the road ...
   it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:  To die.  In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS:  I missed one?

JOHN HOWARD: The chicken never ever crossed the road.
   And it was not forcibly removed from its mother!

PETER COSTELLO: According to documentation submitted to the
   Live Foods Processing Authority,
   the chicken in question was uncooked at the time of its journey and
   therefore will not incur a GST charge.
   However, if that Chicken actually crossed the road for profit,
   regardless of its raw / cooked status,
   the road crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a service
   for which GST will be imposed.

ROBERT DE NIRO: Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road?
   Is that what you're telling me?

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
   Did he cross it with a toad?
   Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
   but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
   Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
   and that was good enough for us.

REV. FRED NILE: Because the chicken was gay!
   Isn't it obvious?
   Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
   The chicken was going to the "other side."
   That's what "they" call it: the "other side."

JOHN MARSDEN: The chicken was an adult.  It's a free country.
   Those little devils peck so deliciously hard!

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and violence by
   counter-revolutionary terrorists and we were forced to defend ourselves
   from the menace of the chicken by dropping 500 tons of nerve gas on it.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
   road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
   How do you feel about your mother?

ANDERSEN CONSULTING:  Deregulation of the chicken's side of the
   road  was threatening its dominant market position.
   The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and
   develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
      Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client,
   helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and
   implementation processes.
   Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM),
   Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies,
   knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people,
   processes and technology in support of its overall strategy
   within a Program Management framework.
      Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and
   best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in
   the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of
   meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital,
   both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with
   each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
   successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide
   value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median
   processes.
   The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling
   and creating an impactful environment which was strategically
   based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
   unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission,
   vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a
   total business integration solution.
      Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

BILL GATES: We have just released eChicken 2000,
   which will not only cross roads,
   but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format),
   file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and
   InternetExplorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

THE CIA: Who told you about the chicken?
   Did you see the chicken?
   There was no chicken.
   Please step into the car, sir.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
   What do you mean by chicken?
   Could you define the word "chicken"?